Anger can be an amazing fuel. Everything big that I’ve accomplished has been fueled by anger/resentment. The best revenge is a life well lived. However, if you’re not going to make your resentment useful, you should let it go because it is just making your life worse. It’s not hurting the person you are angry at. It’s just hurting you.
I’ve found that forgiving the person I’m angry at (and forgiving myself) is the only way to get ride of my anger. That doesn’t mean you trust that person again. Learn the lessons you can from the experience. After you’ve learned, let it go and forgive them. You forgive someone for you, not for them.
And:
I backpack and hike till Im tired, and because I know Im really alone I “talk” to the trees and just figure out why I’m angry. If I can’t hike I’ll do that on long drives. Just figure myself out and ask if that energy is worth it.
You know it’s bad when you run to the woods!
And:
I let it out. I angrily clean, I furiously work out, I have an angry conversation with an imaginary person/vent, I throw my pillow at the wall.
Then I think about what or who I am angry at. If it’s a person, I think about what they did or said and why it made me so angry and then I ask myself if it’s something I need to approach them about or if it’s some thing that isn’t worth getting into. I think, will being angry at them help me? When I’m calmer, will I feel guilty about getting so angry? I ask if it will matter in a few years.
Going through that mental checklist usually helps me calm down and sort out some priorities. If it’s something that I can talk to someone about and maybe find a solution, then I’ll approach the person when I feel calmer. If it’s some thing that I know no amount of talking will fix, or they won’t be receptive to it, then I decide how important it is to me. If it’s some thing that I can live with and let go, I let it go.
The important thing is that anger doesn’t turn into resentment. Because that just is a waste of energy and makes you incredibly bitter. If I’m angry, I tell myself that I’m angry and then I decide if its worth it.