9) Don’t ever blame yourself
We tend to blame ourselves and our imperfections for the break up. This person didn’t just reject you, they rejected you after knowing you inside out. That is why it hurts so much. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you! Yes, you aren’t perfect. You have your flaws. You deserve someone that stays with you regardless of your flaws, not someone who refuses to work on them with you. Sometimes people break up because of the circumstances. It has nothing to do with you. It might just be a bad time and place. All that being said, you deserve someone that makes every excuse to be with you not someone who makes every excuse to NOT be with you. Life is hard and complicated, relationships aren’t ideal all the time. Its easy to stay in a relationship during the good times, but hard to stay in it in the bad times. The bad times are the times that show you if the other person is worth it or not.
10) Don’t idealize your Ex and put them on a pedestal
Drug addicts in withdrawal often highlight only the positives of the drug they were addicted to (Winch, 2018). They conveniently forget how that drug turned their life upside down. People who got dumped do that too. I am not saying your ex turned your life upside down but they weren’t perfect. Write down their flaws and things that annoyed you on a piece of paper. Write down what may have attracted you to them but later made you feel like shit. For example you might have liked the fact they were dominant, but later on it it just felt like they were very controlling. For starters, since they dumped you they are “Quitters”. When you think about her again, focus on her flaws.