Month: May 2023

Reddit:

9) Don’t ever blame yourself

We tend to blame ourselves and our imperfections for the break up. This person didn’t just reject you, they rejected you after knowing you inside out. That is why it hurts so much. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you! Yes, you aren’t perfect. You have your flaws. You deserve someone that stays with you regardless of your flaws, not someone who refuses to work on them with you. Sometimes people break up because of the circumstances. It has nothing to do with you. It might just be a bad time and place. All that being said, you deserve someone that makes every excuse to be with you not someone who makes every excuse to NOT be with you. Life is hard and complicated, relationships aren’t ideal all the time. Its easy to stay in a relationship during the good times, but hard to stay in it in the bad times. The bad times are the times that show you if the other person is worth it or not.

10) Don’t idealize your Ex and put them on a pedestal

Drug addicts in withdrawal often highlight only the positives of the drug they were addicted to (Winch, 2018). They conveniently forget how that drug turned their life upside down. People who got dumped do that too. I am not saying your ex turned your life upside down but they weren’t perfect. Write down their flaws and things that annoyed you on a piece of paper. Write down what may have attracted you to them but later made you feel like shit. For example you might have liked the fact they were dominant, but later on it it just felt like they were very controlling. For starters, since they dumped you they are “Quitters”. When you think about her again, focus on her flaws.

Reddit:

In The Course in Miracles it talks about asking God for help to “See a situation differently”. Meaning, if we can’t let something go we ALLOW God to change our mind to ‘right thinking’. So I did that. The course also talks about forgiveness. Even if someone hurt you so bad. You choose forgiveness. My mantra became “I forgive him, and release him to the hands of the Holy Spirit”. Every. Single. Time. I thought about him, I would repeat this over and over.

The morning after I prayed I woke up with SUCH peace. The course in miracles talks about how each and every person is love. And innocent. And it is only projection of our minds that sees anything different. Everything that is not love, is a miscreation of humans based on false scarcity and fear. It simply does not exist. And our highest good we can do in this life is to see people in their true form, which is love.

And:

When we force ourselves to close chapters in our lives with ego, with fear and anger and misery, we create walls in our own hearts. We create resistance to love in our own hearts. We set up little field mines in our own hearts to try to navigate later. Whatever they did, is not worth your pain anymore. Love them, realize your love will never die, put the situation in the hands of the Holy Spirit, and realize it isn’t for you to figure out anymore.

Trust. In. The. Process. This all happened for a reason. There are only Mistakes if you choose to take pain from this experience. We all have lessons to learn. Relationships bring up our pain from the past. You can either heal that pain, or you can continue to shut your heart down.